lightshow


i think my dreams are coming true 
but wonder what they're worth if i don't have you
lost and found at the same time
cause i always pictured you by my side
through good and bad
bright lights and perfect nights
forever never sever
don't say we were never meant to be
i never wanted you any where but by my side
why can't you see it was never for me 
dreams are funny somtimes
if i could choose 
it would been you 

so far bearable to exist
getting worse
tired of being here
longing to see a new face 
a beautiful face with an untouched world in her eyes
could i be lost inside
screaming to break free 
madness becomes me
so why can i not be 
sane

go away
follow your heart
i'll do the same
just give me a moment to recover from you

funny in the end its their lives I wrote the sountrack 
mine i lost writing


i met afool today that said love had made him that way 
I told him that love is a dangerous thing it can make you laugh it can make you sing







spent so much time looking back to a past holding a future picture which you despise Òat all costs will this not be mineÓ you think yet it holds you so hard teasing, prodding you like a dog in a cage.

this is how it goes now listen and youll be found getting down to the sound as bodies bounce all around were just throwin flows down droppin lots of vowel sounds wow brown cow rounds first base second base all the way past third and drops a turd on the short stop plop plop screaming to break free why can i not be sane heaven sent hey IÕd like you to know someone is here for you caring more than you can ever imagine but theyÕll never let you know donÕt fall apart let them meand your bro theyÕve been there too its not just you time will heal your pain when you feel like you donÕt belong and your whole dam life feels like its wrong share your life with some one who cares donÕt give up on love some one is there some one that cares in the back ground of your heart thinking of you loving you every day of you life a father above living for you let me out before I self destruct before I fall apart let me open this cage holding me let me smile let me fly on the otherside I donÕt know you any more could you have changed so much or was I too blind to see before a girl so radient with love a girl so filled with hate and the people that surround you dragg and you go along changing become some one else its amazing what time can do how it changes a life how it changes a mind a before and after photo look deep within to see whats changed but when you ask why no one knows there is somthing dark there something we canÕt see canging you changing me and the other side the love the light is it still inside how do you break someone make them feel bad even if theyÕve done nothing wrong you gotta let go get up get up its been long enough so lifes rough its ok cause your togh dont whine youÕre fin its growing up time youÕve got a broken heart and you fall apart cause you wonÕt let go of a sinking stone and its taking you down youÕve gotta let go youÕve gotta let go youÕve gotta speed up youÕre moving to slow youÕve gottalet go youÕve gotta give up youÕve gotta let go you have to choose what ever you do move on painÕs never gone stand tall donÕt fall step away from the wall that you hit and fell down that keeps knoking you down get off the ground shut up now no more, no more getting bored donÕt hear what I say not listening anyway not dumb enough to care or stay life in general, getting harder every day fears set in tear me apart so many things driven to gether things for me to ruin every thing seems to change hopes and dreams to pain good intentions to rage its getting better everyday life with my heart this full as love sets in to make me happy you and me so close together its just to right to ruin every thing seems to change all the hopes and dreams are real today good intentions come in to play donÕt say good bye donÕt go away but iÕve been down that road before and I donÕt like wher IÕm headed its getting darker and darker my journey is now beginning our lives are a simple circle we are affected simple things thathave nothing to do with us what wonder these simple things bring we would rather take our lives than face an ounce of pain now justice is destroyed by a law made to create justice its all an illussion only some see the truth we all want to be angels we all want our wings its simple to see whats wrong the world id screwed up these days its simple to change just help in your own little way alone listening to the tunes on the radio staring at the phone we never talk about our future nothing to say i just want to here your voice I envy the lovers we seemed so different then now weÕve grown so far apart all in know anymore is I want you forever in my heart its getting late I think of you do you think of me I long for your touch do you even care IÕm all alone but you wouldnÕt even know are you telling the truth I cant decifer the truth from the lies you shrug it off and smile your sweetest smile iÕm never with you i cant imagine any other I envy the lovers we see sometimes I despise you - but you canÕt see me whats to do when you hate you chained by a dark depression you no longer speak of how you do but pity in lamantation you speak of fire with devils wings thinking only twisted things envy not the loser kings what day destroys the night will bring destiny is yours to make your life is yours its yours to take dreamers wake before they die yet if they donÕt then there they lie turn around and face the pain start a new confront the fears once in death you cannot gain think ahead donÕt cause the tears time gains ground as you it heals live your life in golden fields remembering tommorow IÕm wasting away today but tommorow holds the thinks IÕve been waiting for all my life the cances come the chances go but life remains the same my thoughts today affect me ten years down the road close your eyes and see the rain close your ears and hear my name open up and let me in remmembering tommorow once again these days are like a tight rope walk my life has lost its way the sorrow laughs at me as the moon chases the day away tommorow is today when today is yesterday the cycle is never ceasing and to life add one more day you neverlook at mewhen IÕm looking at you you always look away so what do I say My punishment what am I doing here I made the wrong choices I fear all I ever wanted was all I never gained now your hurt and and IÕm to blame iÕm the one ashamed iÕm the one to blame i wish it was you sitting next to me then I wouldnÕt feel this way and every thing would be ok what am I doing here I cant hold back these tears all my old dreams have now been some how shut away now IÕm hurt and IÕm to blame the way it se what is this pain I feel Why donÕt I even care livin in a technicolor dream this show of my life a sick joke of pain there she is the one for me then life comes to crush my dreams I shug it off cause its to late I know I will lose today I smile and remember as I smile to forget that all success will end in vain all the good times in my heart you were there but inside it hurts and thats the way it seems do you still dream of me at night in your bed smile and remmeber those times that we shared like the time we spent out under the stars I kneel in defeat thinking of you I still remeber I donÕt think IÕll ever get ahead IÕll always fall behind I lost my hopes my dreams my heart I lost it all when I lost you katies song I sit alone and watch the birds in the trees just dreaming of you and its a beautiful release we got to close and then you turned me away just when I thought that you were gonna say stay I know that your always gonna lead me on and I know that I will follow every touch and I kno and I know that life is just not kind ---- and your just wasting my time theres a pathway in my heart ad it winds its way to you and with every passing day theres such a new twist on the truth theres a paramour for you and IÕm still waiting for the call IÕm just watching you and waiting for your lips to form a smile and from the saddness of the ocean come the salty tears of pain and all the demons of that saddness slowly make me go insane and IÕm just like your favorite dog cause iÕll come running back to you and wonÕt matter what you tell me or the crazy thing you do somtimes late at night when I lie awake in bed i think of reasons not to love you but your still inside my head because IÕm waiting for a chance and I still think youÕll change your mind but IÕve wasted all my chances so IÕll just go on prentending that IÕm fine Your eyes its times like these when I feel so all alone so far away from what weÕve known longing to feel your lips close to mine dreaming reaching out into the darkness I close my eyes to feel that closeness if its only in dreams were still there weÕve so much for ever so much to share and in the night my soul takes flight to span the miles and lay with you a while through your window into your room if only in spirit IÕm always with you sometimes I fear I hold you to close could i push you away because it hurts to let go there is so much inside you my eyes cannot see maybe its nothing maybe IÕm looking to deep i want you to look at me the way you used to flash those stars make your eyes look so blue I canÕt turn my back on something so true do you feel it too? its me its you I need you right now for the rest of my life the feelings IÕve had have just felt too right donÕt ever leave I donÕt know what IÕd do IÕm falling apart if IÕm losing you Into the night its dark and the world is fast asleep beside her and in her dream thereÕs a face that weeps in pain forever this quiet hour of rest is stirred as her crie and so it goes into the night she wants to throw it back she knows the pain wonÕt last forever sheÕll close her eyes and go to sleep she knows her heart will not decieve her and so she goes into the night he thinks hes got his life all figured out and he thinks the world has worn him down but what he needs the most is for some one to hold him closely if he had her maybe he wouldnÕt feel so lonely he wants to throw it back he fears the pain will last forever heÕll close his eyes and try to sleep he wants to throw it back he hopes his heart will not decieve him and so he goes into the night one day when there paths have worn there way together they find inside that they were meant for one anotherand now its seems there love belongs in dreams and nowhere else no falling back no falling down any more they donÕt want to throw it back they want this love to last forever he holds her closely and they sleep donÕt want to throw it back they know there hearts w and so they go into the night Forever Tonight i can no longer see my royal shine IÕve crashed and burned ten thousand times IÕve fallen down broke my crown IÕm to blind to see that your not mine any more iÕm falling behind I need you to catch me again this time IÕm losing my mind I need you to hold me forever tonight we have these thoughts with fears and more just stepping on qa missing floor IÕm feeling so selfish but what can I do IÕll hold you so closly IÕll neve lose you I betray my future every day I fear this bliss will turn to dismay dive in my dear and fall with me only you can stop my misery Wheres the Silver Lining soaking up the shame standing in the rain thats pouring down this weather is my mood and IÕm missing you again IÕm so quiet standing here trying not to fight and keep you near ive got to let you go away but I know I wonÕt stand tall the people around me all seem so happy but IÕm not IÕm alone and miserable i need you by my side your not coming back thoug thats one thing I know and IÕm sad so IÕll walk away stand tall and not be afraid whereÕs the silver lining in this cloud so gray IÕll just have a smoke and pretend that IÕm ok I donÕt need you anyway well thats the story thats what iÕll say and your inside where the emotions like to hide but I cannot hide my pain it hurts to bad now IÕm soaking wet, but I donÕt care the rain hides my tears so no one can see them last note dear lost love I think you hurt me you left me crying on the ground And IÕm still hurting but I will live this last note I wrote to say the thins I needed to why did we ever end we seemed so perfect then I always though you were the one I guess I was wrong and its time to move on when I close my eyes i see you smiling in the moonlight bouncing off my car when I close my eyes I see you longing just to touch me and you look so good so go on with life and watch yourself, grow up with what youÕve learned from me but even if our paths never cross i wish you love thanks for all the memories of smiles and us and love its the richest that iÕve ever been but I canÕt get back in thanks for what you taught me about life and loove and happiness all the things IÕd never known but never will forget you were a bright spot in the darkness that would only last a while an oasis of happiness in the desert of my life some say you still watch me with happiness in your eyes but I donÕt see it anymore iÕm not so sure of what my future holds i donÕt know if your a part of it but when I choose my way IÕm walking ot and I wonÕt look back IÕll cry no more tears for you it wonÕt matter if it hurts I donÕt believe we could ever be the same but you will always be a part of me you showed me how to care all I ever wanted from you was for you to love me too just another pointless wish Eternity of pain its lonely on the road watch the world go by my window in a world with so many others Why am I missing you I want to talk to you to see your face light up the night I just watch the passing headlights and wond I tried to fall for someone else but sheÕd never see me again and sheÕs so... but I canÕt hurt her the way you hurt me so far away in an eternity of pain thinking of sad endings to the things I watch closing my eyes and inserting my life the stories IÕd tell will make lovers cry iÕm always so vague in all that i do taking my tme searching for something new watching others moving so fast waiting forever for you to come back every girl I see gets compared to you and its not fair but whos to say lifeÕs too short in an eternity of pain the angels cried look at me now IÕm so lost iÕm not living IÕm not here at all where do I go from her when I canÕt help but to fallits such a trgic memory how you were ripped away from me and now I know I loved you because I lost you when you were all IÕd ever need i look back and I see you so perfectly through clouded memories youÕd smile and close your eyes but not know why iÕd always sing these things and for the first time everything was right just until that night the last night of my life when the world left me dead inside the night you died the angels cried I watched their tears fall from the sky and I canÕt hide these tear soaked eyes I should have been there by your side that night when the angels cried i should have known love would never last forever this life is so unkind I wish you would i wish you could come back to kiss me one last time I donÕt know how or why to even try to move on with out you I never got the time to say good bye or proove my love was true now I stand alone beside a stone that marks the place where your body lays and I place a rose on the ground above your heart and now I know that they are there and the angels care every time it rains ouside but I still die everytime the angels cry and it rains outside i donÕt care at all iÕm walking out this shit canÕt last I canÕt slow down to kiss your ass you just sit around and bitch all the time i canÕt take it this is my life you say why donÕt we I say because you just wonÕt quit you ride my ass down to the floor IÕm not putting up with your shit any more IÕve got no regrets but wasting so much time now IÕm out and I can go on with my life donÕt say that I should grow up when your so good at fucking up sometime when you realize what went on youen your missing me and IÕm long gone a controlling bitch will sit and cry you thought you own me but some shit wonÕt fly its not my fault I donÕt care at all and you just want me to fall and I donÕt care at all I see this life in front of me and wonder if IÕll ever be the way I was when I was young so calm and sure so understood the dreams IÕve had all tuned out sad and in the end the com back again so take my hand and lead me down into the love thats all around this everyday same has taken away my will to survive but i will try just one more time to radiate in this everyday same is this love in front of us is there magic in your touch iÕll follow my heart and get lost again an I walked alone until you came to me I walked alone until you saved me almost autumn its cold tonight and I wonder why this green will turn to brown but yet some how I love this time it represents this state of mine Its almost autumn and I canÕt find that almost autumn state of mind and almost always every time its almost autumn I start to cry then you called and I knew why and I canÕt say but I canÕt hide the reason not to try the sound track to our lives alone tonight under stars so bright so lost and scared totally unprepared for this feeling you have given me and IÕll never let go so donÕt ever let go iÕm sorry for the things that IÕve done if I could take them back god knows I would tearing us apart before we got a chance to start and I canÕt stop this fall the sound track to our lives filled with songs about the pain that we hide and the confusion we all feel is from the wounds that never heal weÕre less weÕre more than we pretend the only thing i ever to the place we were so long ago before the pain betrayal and more forgive me for the person I am tor the things that happened I was wrong all along it seems sometimes that somthings wrong and I canÕt say a word or understand a simple point you know all to well sticks and stones may break my bones but the words you said just killed me please donÕt say that you donÕt care any more so close to perfect and so far away for a reason beyond our control and I try so hard to make this last just trust me here in this place I search for myself the things IÕve expected reaccur in my head hearing you speaking trust ing your voice waiting for somthing that IÕll never see we can run away to a secret place just you and me tonight i know weÕll be all right we can jump in and drive all day with no destination in mind well get ther in time just trust me love me come with me iÕll show you things youÕll never see maybe we could run away from this town run away from all these people and to a place wher stars shine as bright as you eyes and together weÕll be free dream we look but we donÕt see we listen but donÕt hear we touch but donÕt feel its all an illusion lonly with people alone by yourself never knowing what happened not knowing what will if only people could see this life is beating me IÕm living in your dream if only people could see what your doing to me if only people knew you where are you free what can you be we are the body of faceless figures the quiet piece of our pain nothing is normal life is no game the mind is a portal think of a place Billy Shakespeare so I guess thats the end we just walk away like weÕre content and weÕll pretend that this thing called life really has a funny way of working out right as you move on, grow up and forget my name for me only a broken heart remains and as always IÕm still alone thinking maybe you will come back home so the seasons continue to change but I stay the same its not the end of the true tragedies name is life every day and every night no one ever really gets it but heres to Romeo without his Juliet why is love so cruel why must I play fortunes fool trrapped in Romeos melancholy cage wishing for that lamentable last page i need some body I always need somebody i donÕt want to feel like this but I do its become me and so I hide away away from the world and I put on the mask my mask of a smile and pretend IÕm not hurting just for a while I long to be normal just like everyone else to fall in and out of love so easily but love always hurts me for so long now IÕve locked me inside and the beauty of life canÕt touch me in here canÕt hurt me here no peace no freedom I have nothing but I had it once so why donÕt you tell me and I could be happy or I could be free wave good bye as the world passes by you never needed it any way itÕs all a mess you know besides you didnÕt seem to care when it was there you just cried about how bad it was couldnÕt you take some time to look up at the stars to stare at the mountains in the distance you just run of to work and pass by so determined so set on something on a goal and you say that IÕm distracted you say I canÕt pay attention how could I there is so much there so much you donÕt see but you can onlyt if you want to I want to cry as the world passes by how could you abuse something so precious and take for grantedand thr I pray weÕll be forgiven for what weÕve done you never needed it- its all a huge fucking mess - you know isnÕt that why you didnÕt seem to care when it was there although you could have chosen how good it was saw a beautiful girl but never said a word and she walks away and IÕll never see her again and if I did would I make the same mistake and say nothing miss a chance out of fear so afraid to step out into the world lost a part of myself growing up donÕt want to feel this rejection any more so I guess iÕll never be excepted not even by myself I donÕt want to be afraid just bold and corageous i wish I could be everything. iÕve ever wanted to be but then i would be so many things whay canÕt I just be happy with myself why so many regrets for a life I wish I could let go of to find a new begining a new life foregtting a haunting past IÕve fucked up so many times before I know I have but how can I fix this shatered life walking along a beach at night bor thinking aloud staring at stars a beautiful night for a smile and one came with and old friend, a lover, adream I once had and then I saw in her hand her soul so beautiful and hurting so and she smiled at me as she lifted this to her lips and looked at me with her emrald eyes and her long red hair waving in the wind she mesmerised me as she reached out her hand and took hold of mine I just stood there in awewatching her coming closer to my lips and as we stared eye to eye lips meeting she came into me filling me comforting me i saw as she backed away flashing in thosebeautiful green eyes a fire burning deep inside her and she came closer and closer burning brighter and brighter oh i could hardly breath more and more so amzed so high again and she came rushing out into the open as I closed my eyes opening my eyes I saw that she had vanished but a part of her remained holding me and in her arms I found freedom i can still seee her walkingtowards me on that cool summer night I can st i smiled sitting alone smoking floating in clouds her aroma fillsthe air and floats to the air in clouds and rings of smoke I wish I could have been there to have seen him to have known him as he walked on waterand made the blind to see and to be there on easter morn as good friday faded away and all the pain washed away to be alive taking it in and it would have been so much easier to believe help me believe I need to believe touch me heal me make me whole again show me how to show them so they can believe oh make me believe with my hole heart i feel you some times all aroundme making me smile and feel so alive someday IÕll see you someÕday IÕll know you were there all the time by my side and IÕll fal to my knees and praise you for everything for setting me free for dying for me for a moment I felt like a king living in a dream could life be this perfect I imagine eden where everything is perfect where we could be if it wasn no work no need all would be provided it sounds so nice to bad we hd to miss it to bad we got this mess and I know some things are better but most of its worse so it works is it worth it just to know it all so we can be so fuckin smart we make all these lines and divisions to make a better place when itjust messes everything up its costing the earth to build all this power no one wants to slow down sometimes I wish IÕd never been born at all and I ask myself to be a void to never have lived it would be a shame not to exist to be just an empty spot where would you have been this ones for the under dogs everyonethat wasnÕt cool those who never fit in people who get fucked with by the normals ( if there is such a thing) someday everything will be ok some day you will be on top try to understand diligence is the key just keep hammering away chipping away the rough edges concrete around the segments make a sculpture from the shreds of you existance trying to avoid those th how our dreams have a funny way of coming true our plans have a funny way of falling through I hate not having you near it makes us not seem real amazed our paths crossed and so happy want to become a portrait of love a fountain of love pouring from hands of knowledge charcoal on paper to capture this moment deeper than action a bond stronger than an embrace saturate me let me soak you in lets fall in love forget about the world spend this night with me she would stand by me love me un women rapport - details are important expressive gesturesetc. supportive tenative initiations maintaining men report instrumental - logical advising certain control conversation I dream of you walking through the woods with you through the trees out into a the open plains of _______ the stars in all their grandure surround us the city lights fade in the distance winter now but soon comes spring new birth new life with this eve this new aquaintance start jungle sequence foolishness I ca spring summer fall winter birth death do not make her your god i dreampt we were two indians i was a lone warior with my queen My princess we were far away from these lands the grass was high things wer perfect I saw her kiss light who, so pretty, she... lost my concentration lost my mind lost my senses it's about time to fall in love for the first time for the last time again one alarm to another dreams emerge this is the | dream of | the soundtrack | of | life | 3 1 2 4 dreams play through out our lives I dream of life I dreampt I was there dreaming dream dream ambiguous life falling away confusion collecting clogging my flow night time thougts rushing through my head of today and tommorow though nothing can change them now any way is it my fault that your not here well here i am again lost like all the time before wondering if our loves still here and praying that it it alwaysseems we fell apart we lost somthing between here and there and i wonder why you fell away and in this gap i fear that I had made donÕt close your eyes donÕt walk away with out you here I canÕt face the pain any more i need you to kiss meunderneeth the stars and hold me like you used to do show me that you still care about me just donÕt hold back you never stay for long or say too much nothing is like it ever was is it me donÕt just say that nothingÕs wrong lets keep it real there is so much more
maybe I was wrong to think that you could love me maybe I was wrong to feel this way maybe IÕm just wrong to blame you for my faults maybe IÕm wrong maybe IÕm right what would you say if I said I loved you what would you say if I said I cared would you turn away from me and say you had other plans watching you watching me through a wall we cannot see standing outside and looking in as everything I touch turns to shit i thought: maybe you could see me like I wanted you to see me cause i needed you to need me like iÕve never needed any thing

heÕll end up dying in a gutter 
the way hes going down
and no one will ever give a damn
ambition for nothing striving to fail
heÕd sell his soul for one last fix 
just doesnÕt give a shit
such a loser
such a shame
try and help him 
save him from himself
heÕll only bring you down
dying 
already dead inside
a walkin carcass
redy to burn
I once knew him
when he was alive 


oh forgetful foolish poet 
donÕt forget to  write it down 
for once its gone its gone for good 
and... and ... and...
youll never think it again
and it will be lost inside
floating around in your heart
lost in your mind
you have the gift of the worlds greatest curse
to let art flow through you or to tryand capture all the beauty and pain
to share with the world moving too fast
to see to hear to feel what they ar

I know they could see it 
i know they could hear it 
I know they could feel it
i just wish they would

donÕt forget to write it down 
do your duty share with the world
make them see 
make them hear 
make them feel

your curse is mine as well

a dreammer was born into a world that breaks dreams
but the dreame belived the dream could be more
the dreamer said hey IÕm gonna be a star
though the world said Òyou wish you freakÓ
but the dreamer held on to his dream.

the things iÕve expected reaccur in my head 
hearing you speaking trusting your voice is all I have left to do 

my dream of you
as I sit here alone listening to the radio in my room 
wishing you loved me 
hoping you do
your number sits untouched wating to be called

sometime soon I have to know  
whether its yes or no

answer soon I need the peace
my dream of you is controlling me 

but still i wait 
still holding back though tommorow may be too late 
I cannot tell you, I hesitate
and once again I go to sleep to dream of you in love with me

IÕve driven by your house a thousand times 
hoping you will be standing outside
then we could talk even take a walk
and I could explain my dream of you
wrong theyÕre the ones you drive away just because theyÕre not the same you think you know just what to do they need your help but they are nothing to you you attempt to change their life into somthing you like who make life worse sorry truth hurts what makes you better what makes you strong donÕt mix in god when your reasons are wrong you think that they belong in their place unworthy of Gods grace but I think weÕre unworthy too maybe your right maybe your holier than thou but underneith theyÕre just like you shock truth is: God loves it seems that if you want to keep the girl donÕt ever treat her right youÕve got to lie to her and make her cry and if they ever know that you love them so youÕll lose her nice guy hey you nice guy donÕt you know what you do when you treat her right it will just fall back on you donÕt ever do what mother said cause it will beat you down in the end youÕll scare her off or sheÕll say your such a good friend hey you nice guyyou donÕt believe what I say well have I got a story for you today. a bad guys got his girl he calls a bitch and she loves him and he loves the way shes rich he uses and uses and she gives it all away crying at night for a better day but still shes longing for his true love thinking what it will be like when he finally does he knows sheÕll do any thing to keep him by her side the way he leaves her laying so alone makes her want to die now t heÕd go through hell on hands and knees just to feel her touch heÕll buy her things to show her his affection not seeking a return he could never hurt her like the guys that let her burn and for a while she loves him like no one shes ever known then she gets scared because sheÕs to young to understand herself anymone before she learns she runs away tearing her love down now the nice guy whoÕs lost his life crashes broken to the ground go warn the youth to betray their morals in fear of losing love donÕt let them fall into the trap instead pray they rise above teach a class on apathy with a teacher whos felt pain like mine annoyed angry wishing to break free but I make no move for emancipation a prisoner of my own existance trapped in a world I despise but I put myself there I shouldnÕt complain this is my creation i shouldnÕt complain i did this to myself i shouldnÕt com that IÕm losing my mind and hating this place and these friends and myself and just trying to change so far its bearable to exist but everyday it gets worse so tired of being here longing to see a new face a beautiful face with an untouched world in her eyes could I be lost in there ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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donÕt fall apart let them mend your bro when you feel you donÕt belong and your {life} the world that you exist in would i call it consiousness feels wrong fathers can be many different things let me open this cage holding me in changing to become some one else is it still inside so lifes rough its ok cause your tough dont whine youÕre fine not dumb enough to care or stay

its getting harder every day just life in general, so many things driven to gether things for me to ruin live your life in golden fields thanks for all the memories of life and you and us thanks for what you taught me about life and love and happiness details clouding the big picture. like autism focusing on just one dot in a pattern unable to see the whole wall of design I'm living in your dream whats left to do when everything I did I did for you but its not enough and neither is our love I feel destroyed like an over played toy have you forrgotton all the good have I done all that I should I havenÕt slept in days wondering about you falling away but I need you by my side what do I do to make these dreams come true what do I do to make us seem new what do I do to make me feel like you used to tell me how to make this right God knows iÕve tried he knows that no one can ever take her place whatever its not the same iÕm tormented by choice do I follow my heart or do I follow my mind IÕm stuck in the dark but I long for the light jesus I need your help finding my way IÕve gone astray what am I searching for peace for my soul what am I searching for god only knows maybe IÕll find it whatever it is i hate this place its drwing me in and I canÕt get out no matter how hard I try iÕve got to get away iÕve got to save myself its all too much to handle its all to much to take its all to much to leave behind but its way to much to live with